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Rules for a Submissive Man: 80 Rules by Area of Life

By Aria Wilde · updated 2026-10-19 · 6 min read

Rules are the skeleton of a dominant and submissive relationship. They turn a vague wish to obey into specific behaviours that can be kept, checked and rewarded. A rule that is well chosen produces pleasure on both sides: the sub gets structure and a clear way to please, and the domme gets reliability without nagging. Below are 80 rules for a submissive man in five areas, followed by advice on writing them, enforcing them and removing them. The Sissy Academy path turns many of these into lessons, and the companion list of sissy rules covers the feminization side.

How many rules, and which ones

The most common mistake is writing too many. A list of thirty rules cannot be followed, and a sub who breaks one rule a day soon feels like a failure. Start with five to seven. Choose rules that:

• can be checked (a photo, a report, an observable behaviour)
• fit your real life and work schedule
• have a clear purpose that both people understand
• carry a fair, agreed consequence

Add a new rule only after the old ones have become habit, usually after three or four weeks. The comparison between high-protocol and low-protocol dynamics helps you decide how dense your list should be.

Speech and manners (1-16)

1. Address your domme by her title in every message and conversation within the dynamic.
2. Begin requests with "may I" and end them with "please".
3. Say thank you after every instruction, correction or reward.
4. Speak calmly, without raising your voice or swearing at her.
5. Do not interrupt her while she is speaking.
6. Ask permission before speaking during a scene or protocol time.
7. Answer honestly, even when the truth is uncomfortable.
8. Confess mistakes yourself before she finds them.
9. Apologise once, sincerely, and move on.
10. Do not complain about assigned tasks. Raise a concern privately and politely.
11. Reply to her messages within an agreed time.
12. Greet her warmly when you meet or part.
13. Do not argue in front of other people.
14. Use positive wording when disagreeing: "I would prefer" instead of "no".
15. Keep private details of the dynamic confidential.
16. End each day with a short message of thanks.

Posture and presence (17-30)

1. Kneel to receive instructions when she asks.
2. Keep your eyes lowered when addressed, unless told otherwise.
3. Stand until invited to sit.
4. Offer to take her coat and her bag.
5. Open doors for her.
6. Hold your hands behind your back during formal moments.
7. Sit straight, with your knees together or in the position she chooses.
8. Walk a step behind her at formal events.
9. Place yourself where she can see you without calling.
10. Wait quietly if she is busy.
11. Never turn your back on her during a formal exchange.
12. Wear the clothes she has chosen when she asks.
13. Keep your nails, hair and clothing neat.
14. Follow the agreed greeting ritual at the door.

The kneeling positions guide names common postures, and the audio Sissy Training: Sit Like a Lady rehearses a seated one.

Chores and service (31-46)

1. Complete the daily task list before evening.
2. Wash the dishes after every meal.
3. Keep the bathroom clean.
4. Make the bed every morning.
5. Prepare her tea or coffee at the time she prefers.
6. Cook at least three dinners a week.
7. Handle the laundry on the agreed day.
8. Keep the entrance tidy.
9. Plan and manage the shopping list.
10. Report completed tasks with a short message.
11. Ask before changing the order of a task.
12. Finish what you start, to the standard she set.
13. Do not leave a task for her to find undone.
14. Keep the home presentable at a fixed hour.
15. Prepare something special once a week.
16. Take on one extra task when she is tired or busy.

If you need more ideas, the list of service submissive ideas and the guide to sissy tasks and chores are good partners.

Sexuality and desire (47-64)

1. Do not touch yourself without permission.
2. Do not release without permission.
3. Ask for release by following the agreed procedure, not by pleading at random.
4. Report arousal honestly when asked.
5. Wear the chastity device as instructed. See the Chastity and Denial path.
6. Check the device and skin every morning.
7. Do not use pornography without permission.
8. Follow the agreed rules about fantasies and thoughts.
9. Accept denial gracefully.
10. Accept teasing without rushing her.
11. Offer pleasure before asking for your own.
12. Wait for her to initiate unless she has said otherwise.
13. Keep the intimate details of the dynamic private.
14. Tell her at once about any new desire or fear.
15. Do not compare her to anyone else.
16. Listen to the assigned audio on the days she sets.
17. Do not go beyond the activities agreed in advance.
18. Say "pause" if anything stops being enjoyable.

The last two are not restrictions on her; they protect him. Every list of sexual rules should include a rule that guarantees he can stop.

Self-care and growth (65-80)

1. Sleep at least seven hours.
2. Eat three meals a day.
3. Drink enough water.
4. Exercise at least three times a week.
5. Keep up skin care and hygiene.
6. Keep doctor and dentist appointments.
7. Spend an hour a week on a hobby that is only yours.
8. Maintain friendships outside the dynamic.
9. Write a short journal entry each day. See submissive journal prompts.
10. Set one personal goal each month and report on it.
11. Read or learn something new each week.
12. Take a day of rest when you are unwell.
13. Do not hide stress. Tell her when you are overloaded.
14. Review the rules together each month.
15. Say what you need before it becomes a problem.
16. Remember that rules exist to serve both of you.

A starter set of six

If the full list feels like too much, begin with these six, taken from different areas so each part of life gets a little structure:

Run the six for a month, then ask yourselves a question for each: did it make the dynamic feel better? Rules that make you both smile stay. Rules that make you both sigh go. Notice that two of the six are about his wellbeing, not about her convenience. That balance is deliberate: a dominant who invests in the sub's health earns obedience that lasts, while one who asks only for service gets the minimum.

Writing, enforcing and reviewing rules

Write them down. A rule that exists only in memory will drift. Use a shared note, a printed card, or a formal document such as the one in the femdom contract template. Use positive, specific wording: "Send a report at 9 pm" beats "Be responsible".

Agree on consequences. For each rule, decide what happens if it is broken: a warning, an extra task, a delay in a reward, a short writing assignment. Keep consequences proportionate and never humiliating in ways you did not negotiate.

Be consistent. A rule enforced on Monday and ignored on Thursday teaches nothing. If you cannot enforce it, remove it.

Review monthly. Ask three questions: which rules are working, which are causing friction, and what needs to be added or dropped? A rule that no longer serves a purpose should leave the list without ceremony. Many dynamics fail because nobody dared to retire an outdated rule.

For practice in the mindset, Sissy Hypno Obedience Training rehearses obeying short, clear rules in trance, and Start Here Part 3: Good Girl frames the reward that follows.

Listen next

Sissy Hypno Obedience Training

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Start Here Part 3: Good Girl

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Sissy Training: Do Nothing Until I Say

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Sissy Training: Sit Like a Lady

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